Craig McMorris

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Words: Eric Greene Photos: Ashley Barker

Old Craiger Bear is one helluva guy. He will throw his body and snowboard down the most ratchet street features, hit any of Whistler’s biggest backcountry booters, while throwing himself ass-over-teakettle a couple of times in the air, and will drink all the Saskatchewan farmers out of their rye whiskey haul (if you get him started by mixing it with ginger ale). It’s a good thing that his mom or girlfriend will do his laundry for him and he knows how to pick up a basic pumpkin spiced latte on his own, so he can still put on his TV voice and show up for work when the networks need him. —Logan Short

What’s a snowboard analyst?

Someone who talks loud and makes shit up.

Does it pay well? 

Ask Todd Richards.

List all your current job titles:

Boarder, snowboard commentator, personality, farmer, stay-at-home dad.

If you Google “Craig McMorris,” what comes up that you’re most proud of?

How would I know? Who Googles themselves?

What comes up that you’re most bummed about or ashamed of?

Refer to previous answer. If I guessed, it would be some swaggy pictures.

How did you end up commentating snowboarding at the Olympics?

I quickly realized that there was no way in hell I would make the squad, so I dropped off the team and went after that job.

How did you get the gig commentating snowboarding at the X Games?

Through my agent, Ninja. He’s the man!

Best comment you dropped on the mic:

The time when I wasn’t talking.

Cheesiest comment:

Basically everything I said. “Yard,” “To the moon,” “Mustard,” etc.

How many times did you use the word “execution?”

One time I said “execution” three times in a row.

“Just a little tickle on it?”

HJ.

Do the X people provide you with required statements to make or do you come up with them yourself?

I make everything up on the spot, but there are some amazing researchers that do an awesome job. Also, to the people who called me out for claiming the first womens 900, you’re all idiots. That was the first womens 900 landed at an Aspen X Games, which is what I said! Janna Meyen did a 900 to her butt one year, but if we’re counting that, then I quit. Preach!

Do you think you’d have more success as a pro snowboarder if you weren’t Mark’s big bro?

No.

Did your life change after doing an MTV reality show?

Kinda.

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Method Air, Whistler, BC. Photo: Ashley Barker

Did your teenage female fan base increase significantly?

Yes. Quite significantly.

What happened to your tooth?

That was like four years ago, but that tooth is fake. I was so flexible as a little kid that one time I landed on my back and took my toe edge to the mouth and popped that unit right out.

How much do you love the spotlight?

I live for it. It’s all I ever want.

Who has a better One-Footer than you?

Scott Stevens, Bode Merrill, Heikki Sorsa, and Logan Short. Mine is still Top Five, though.

Name a man who is more flexible than you:

Jean-Claude Van DAMN.

Favorite snowboarder who’s not a family member:

I like watching dudes that can ride it all. I have so much respect for that. Bode and Pat [Moore] come to mind, but really anyone who can do that is fetch.

Most underrated snowboarder you know:

Darcy Sharpe, Anto Chamberland, Logan and Rhett Haubrich.

Stupidest injury you’ve ever experienced:

I crashed a dirt bike into a Toyota Yaris at a farm and popped my shoulder out of place. I got someone to drive me half an hour to the hospital in town, got it popped back in, and got a ride back out to the farm. Saskatchewan.

Worst hangover you’ve ever experienced:

Don’t even get me started—so many devastating ones.

Any tattoo regrets?

The one that says “no ragrets.”

Something you do that annoys others:

Wear sweatpants everywhere.

Saskatchewan or B.C.?

Saskatchewan in the summer, B.C. in the winter.

Beer or hard booze?

Start with hard then transfer to pints.

Waterskiing or skateboarding?

Impossible choice. I want to go pro in both.

Older women or younger?

Older.

Something that makes you very angry:

Negative attitudes.

What happens when you drink Redbull or too much coffee?

I love Redbull and I don’t think you can drink too much coffee.

Were you prescribed Ritalin as a child?

No. I was pretty docile, got in a couple scraps with Mark, but it was chill.

Are your 90,000 Instagram followers all yours or are some of them Mark’s fallout?

Every last one is a fallout from Mark, but hell, I’ll take it! More Insta followers means that you’re happier in life, right?

Would you rather have @champagnepapi follow you or get sponsored for barefoot waterskiing?

Snowboarding is plan B for me. I would do anything to be a pro barefoot water skier. It’s the greatest sport there is.

To all those who just think you’re Mark’s bro and don’t realize how good you are at snowboarding:

LOL.


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